I caught the train from King’s Cross on Friday nite to Settle via Leeds. Met a girl Barbara on the Settle train who was also doing the mountain bike weekend. Andy the tour guide picked us up in the van and we then drove to the cabin near Ingleton. The stone walls along the way are spectacular. They are (dare I say it) better than those in the Cotswolds. The rolling hills (not a lot of trees around) reminded me of the highlands in Scotland.At the cabin I met Caroline (later found out she works for a bike mag! and perhaps Andy’s partner in crime), Matthew, Celia, Fleur, Chris, Malcolm and Andrew. Malcolm, Chris and Matthew were Epping Forest boys, Celia was from Leeds, Fleur was from … somewhere in the UK and Andrew was a London lawyer I think. Chris and Malcolm were the senior members of the group and were referred to by me as the old blokes from then on in. They reminded me of a couple of old blokes from back home that are pretty good on a mountain bike. After the introduction it was time for something to eat (and boy did we eat over the weekend!). Had a damn good feed and a few beers. I think Andy may have been a restauranteur in a past life time. If not, he has a good career path if he wants a change from mountain biking. Then it was off to the pub for a few quieties. The pub was called the Old Hill Inn and a apt name it was. Had a few Guinness pints and a few games of proper pool (none of this red and yellow ball rubbish that they play over here).The old blokes showed their prowess on the table by thrashing Matt and I in all the games played.

Up at a leisurely time on Saturday morning to greet the sun. It was a great day with nice clear skies. We road up the road a little and then through a farm and onto the moors. It is interesting terrain, very squelchy under the tyres. My bike was a lovely MCM Giant running a front tyre on both rims. Interesting setup indeed. Put the clipless pedals on it and it became the Hill rocket ship. Shame the rider was not quite up to it after about nine months of the bike. Went through some limestone type formations with Chris trying to fall off as many times as he could. It was interesting to see his perseverance, blood knee and all. It was then onto a great river crossing that none of us could get through (even with repeat attempts). There was a couple of big slippery rocks that gave us all a bit of grief. Water temperature was something to forget! Then it was morning tea! Woo hoo. Lots of fruit, chocolate and liquid refreshments of the non-alcoholic variety. Tried a few Penguins. Very similar to a Tim Tam and are I say it better tasting.

After refuelling we were off again, down the bitumen road before turning off into another property. We were between a couple of massive stone fences. The conditions were starting to get a bit wet and muddy - every mountain bikers dream! After trying to keep both myself and bike clean I decided it was all a fruitless exercise. Now the fun could begin! Well we rode through every puddle, bog and hole known to man. The new shoes, pedals and jersey now resembled something better seen in a war between man and his bike and mother Earth. Well the conditions were now atrocious. It was showery and cold and the “track” looked like 100 Hummers had driven along it recently. Rutted and boggy as the moors could be with water everywhere. The bogs were at times thigh deep (as Chris found) although I could only manage knee deep. A stop after the worst of the track was in order to reform the group. We rested for a while and continued on. The track was now less muddy, but very rough like the cobblestones of roads of Paris. How the Tour de France riders manage it on road bikes had me beat, but believe me our track was not much fun even with wide tyres and front suspension. Oh for the dual suspension bike or even a MX bike!

Continuing on down the road we came to a sign pointing to the village of Dent, our place for lunch. The track down there was even more rockier than the prior one and combined with wet slick rocks and two front tyres on the bike it was not exactly a barrel of laughs. Very rideable nonetheless but rough on the backside, wrists and arms. After a mile long rocky downhill we arrived in Dent. Caroline the designated tour leader of the day managed to split the group into as many permutations as possible and lose Andy in the van at least ten times and that was just the beginning. There was also the crash in the hire car, but that story will be left for another occasion. OK, now time for lunch. Pasta salad was to be the order of the day and conversation for the whole weekend. That and more meat and salad than you could poke a stick at. With more liquid refreshment I was feeling quite happy considering the long ride. It was about 4pm and after all this riding was beginning to play havoc with my backside. I was out for the count and no more mountain boozing err biking for me. The fact of not having ridden for near on nine months and a seat better off on a BMX bike had said “no more.” A sad day for mountain biking in the diary of the bloke known as the Nanna. It was then a lovely drive (?) back to the cabin with Celia (also decided that she had enough too) and Caroline. We passed a herd of cattle along the road, but fortunately they did not add any more dents to the hire car.

Back home it was for a great shower and something to eat and drink. Louise from the south of England in Derby decided to join the party after a nite out disco dancing with her mates until the early hours of the morning. It was lucky that a breathalyser was not in the vicinity as she may have been done for DD on the mountain bike! With her camera skills I wondered if she was the chief photographer for one of the glossy mountain bike magazines. Not so, turns out she is a teacher with a passion for mountain biking and taking photos. Not a bad accent either, quite good for someone English. More food and drink again for dinner, followed by a few lovely ales with Andy and the troops. Back to the local for another quiety before being evicted at the time I have grown to hate - 11pm. Back to the cabin to watch the highlights of the Chelsea vs Aston Villa game (go the Blues!). A couple more beers and it was ready for bed.

Up Sunday morning to greet an overcast and showery day which was a shame. Great cooked breakfast with cereal and coffee. Backside little bit better today but not as good as I hoped. Not looking forward to a day on the saddle but you get that. OK well the bike needed a rear brake adjustment and a few other bikes needed some work too. Not the 10am start we were looking for but not too bad. Off along the bitumen for quite a while before heading off into another farming property looking up the hill we all knew we had to climb. Another water crossing was in the pipeline with the Nanna being the only one game to cross it. Well the climb was more of the same cobblestone type effect and boy did it go on and on. Nice to get to the top and admire the view while the old blokes and I waited for the rest of the group. From here it was all down hill all the way to the bottom of the hill (obviously). Lots of puddles, another river crossing and fairly rocky in sections. Then we met the van for morning tea which was well deserved after some tough riding in the rain.

From there it was on through another property after a brief stint through a growth forest. The next section was quite flat and fast. We then came to another rocky downhill section (with yet another great river crossing beforehand). In my element here or so I thought. Passed Matt on the outside at a great rate of knots, scaring him half to death. Enough for him to fall off. Knew he was looking sketchy but was hoping he would hang on. Reached the next gate and thought better wait and apologise. After then it was more fast rocky downhill stuff before hitting another village for lunch. Lunch was welcomed by all as it had been a hard but very enjoyable ride. From there it was along the bitumen to climb a few lovely climbs. Not much fun. Back to the spot for morning tea for afternoon tea where we met a few people who had been underwater caving. Wetsuits and all. Up through the forest again before heading home on a supposedly gentle ride. Well, I am not sure about the rest of the group but I managed to find a few climbs. The legs and backside had well and truly had enough by then and it was time to lift the seatpost up a bit. Welcome relief on the legs and we were off again. A nice downhill at the top that was all too short, before hitting the bitumen to meet the van to be shuttled home out of the valley. Quite good in fact, as the climb out of the valley would not have been too flash. Back to the cabin for a quick shower and pack and then goodbyes to all.

Then it was back to sunny London on the train for the return to work and dreaming of mountain biking!

This great weekend was put together by Mr Andrew (Andy) Straw and the other great folks at Saddle Skedaddle. Website www.skedaddle.co.uk. Check them out. Don’t worry if you are not in the UK as they do world wide trips including the South Americas, USA and Norway amongst others. They run a great show and you will not starve or die of dehydration. Their professionalism and friendliness has to be seen to be believed. If you want a good fun mountain bike weekend check them out.

Cheers

Brenden